tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize