i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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