I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
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The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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