whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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