i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize