I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
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i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
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Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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