He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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