i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
only if we run a train.
done.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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