This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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