It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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