ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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