i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She told me I should be a condom model.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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