kristin has been a bad kristin
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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