My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize