you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
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dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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