i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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