woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
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I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
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In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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