When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize