I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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