I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
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