capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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