Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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