Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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