Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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