May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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