Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize