I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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