A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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