You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
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Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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