Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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