my vag is so smooth its legendary
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize