I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
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I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
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