Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize