Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize