If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
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