my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize