I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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