I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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