why didn't you poke me back
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
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the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
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Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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