He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
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I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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