I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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