My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
whose parrot is this?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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