allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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