There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
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On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
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I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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