At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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