if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize