Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Randomize