Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it hurts more in the daytime
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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