what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
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we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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