Welp...herpes.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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