Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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